updates

yes, ive been busy with school, and being sick, and just havent updated this in a while. i found some funny facebook groups though. my definite favorite is one called "My Friends Are Getting Married... I'm Just Getting Drunk" story of my life

You might be in law school if

You know all sorts of sneaky and creative ways to steal from clients thanks to your Professionalism and Ethics class.

You consider dropping out of law school approximately every hour, but after that first semester you realized you were already in too much debt to be anything other than a lawyer.

You aspire to one day own Blackacre.

Substance abuse becomes you.

The drama in your life now rivals that of high school.

You make adverse possession jokes.

You can name without hesitation at least three people who make you want to throw things when you see them raise their hands in class.

You think IRAC and CREAC are just code for saying the same thing over and over.

You are truly and deeply unnerved by the thought of some of your classmates becoming attorneys.

You think tequila shots are essential to ordered liberty.

You wonder if that one professor who always seems angry and irritable and treats students’ minds as his personal playground is actually a sociopath or just didn’t get enough hugs as a child.

Sometimes during disagreements you are tempted to 12(b)(6) the offending friend or family member.

You know and understand the complicated epistemological and metaphysical differences between a conspirator and an accomplice.

You know and understand the complicated epistemological and metaphysical differences between coffee and red bull.

You can’t remember if you decided to come to law school because you wanted to help people and make a difference in the world or because you hate yourself.

You think whoever first introduced the Socratic method into the law school curriculum should have his face lit on fire and then beaten out with a rake.

You can’t think of any legitimate reason why a law student would need access to certain public records, but you can think of a whole lot of illegitimate ones.

After the first semester you realized that “briefing a case” need only consist of looking it up on Lexis or Westlaw.

You’ve given yourself carpal tunnel from all the spider solitaire you play in class.

When someone is expressing their frustration or anger about something that is in any way related to the law, you can’t be sympathetic because you’re too busy figuring out in your head if they have a cause of action.

You hear about the death of an elderly friend or relative and wonder if they died intestate.

You have considered changing career paths to hot dog vendor, stilt walker, or career alcoholic.

You're pretty sure the reasonable prudent man is a friendless tool who still lives with his mother.

my kick ass hamburger recipe

so im at my parents house for the weekend. i had mom get some hamburger meat before she went to spa city so i could grill some burgers, since i dont have any way to grill in fay. i decided since i have ground beef that i would make a specialty burger, so i google to find some recipes. all the recipes sound delicious but i dont have all the ingredients for each one. so, basically i just dig through the kitchen and put random shit in my hamburger meat. here is what my recipe consists of:

hamburger meat
strawberry's bbq sauce
louisiana terriaki sauce
1 egg
garlic powder
some of that chopped up garlic that is really small and comes in a jar
some bacon bits
some brown sugar
some crushed up sun chips

i didnt have any bread crumbs, so i just crushed up some chips. i also put cheese on it and bacon on it. it was fucking awesome. im awesome

im not really a madtv fan

but i do like watching the news and i like political humor, so i thought this was funny

wow

i got hard just watching this video

fuck nick saban

he is apparently responsible for taking down a website that i enjoyed. www.secpoon.com

the reasoning for this is apparently that there was a picture of his niece on the site. well, after a google search i find the alleged picture, and figure i'll post it here. maybe the alabama mafia will pay me off to remove it. i accept paypal.

its mother fucker saturday

i havent even showered yet. i dont want to. i will miss some football action. the hogs play bama in a few hours. i learned a bama cheer this week from a friend of my who went to school there. it goes like this. "ramma jamma yella hamma, give em hell, alabama." pretty gay if you ask me. so im having a day of football action. last saturday, i had a day of football action and boozing. then i went to the bar, and somehow ended up at a place called discovery, which is a gay bar except on sat nights, watching a drag show at 2 in the morning. how did this happen? hot chicks. thats how. jesus, these women are good looking. i like being around good looking women, even if they are married and we are just hanging out. id rather hang out with a good looking girl. in another related note, watch fox news talk about a donkey punch and an angry pirate

whats your fantasy?

i saw this commercial last night at the bar several times, before my strange night even started, which i'll post about later. for now, enjoy the commercial

the end of the internet

every once in a while i write a post about seeing the end of the internet. i claim that i have seen it, and up to that point, i probably have. there are various websites that are the end of the internet to me. however, last night, we went to the bars, i had a great time, got good and drunk, and came home. i couldnt sleep. so i did what any normal guy does on a friday night at 3am when he cant sleep. i creep around on the internet. i found the most fucked up site ever. and i mean ever. its fucked nuts.now i will give it to you. www.mydeathspace.com

basically what this site does is updates people who were on myspace who have died. lots of them committ suicide or have drug overdoses. someone exceptionally fucked up in the head person write a little bio for that person, puts a link to their myspace page, and sometimes a link to their obituary if its online. the best part about this is that its searchable. i found max the fish, who died from lack of oxygen after his tank fucked up. haha

the dumbest bored people ever

this is slightly entertaining

that time of year

with the coming of fall, new tv shows come out. i became addicted to tv last year. i invested hours of my life into watching tv shows that were good. some of them got cancelled. some will have new episodes this fall. i just watched a screener of a new show called life that is coming out this fall on some network. it was pretty good. it has the guy who starred in band of brothers, which i really liked. i will probably set the dvr to record this show, along with the usuals and maybe 1 or 3 other new shows that seem like they might interest me. i think i need to move to LA and pick out which shows are good and which shows are not, and then put them on the air. seems like a good job to have. fuck law school. i guess after law school i can say, "Shannon Grant, name on the door."

jager bombs. i fucker shower in that shit

i found this funny

20%

thats how pure i am. i got one of those little facebook invitations to take a purity test and add some gay application to my facebook profile. i opted not to put the application in there because i think they are gay, but i took the test. 20% pure. thats pretty good, i think, although the friend who invited me to take this test was 45% pure and she had a little devil beside her. it must be because i like to try everything and have an addictive personality. seems like the only questions i could leave blank were the ones about whether or not i'd given oral sex to a guy, which is an obvious no.

superfunny

so, i finally got a little free time. well, to be honest, i just sacrificed sleep to make some. i finally watched superbad. i have to say, it is probably one of the funniest movies i've seen in a long time. much much funnier than knocked up. without giving anything away, lots of the shit that happened in the movie would never really happen in real life, but the premise in real life is there for most of the shit. it reminded me of doing ignorant shit in high school. if you havent seen this movie, watch it. download it if you are a broke college student, but just watch it one way or another, and prepare to get heartburn from laughing so hard.

"shes a whore"

this old bitch is awesome

down, set

football season is here. this is one of my favorite times of the year. i've been worthless today and am still watching football right now. saturday, i went to fayetteville for the hog game, where i lost 12 hours of my life. its ok though, apparently i had a good time. i hope to see pictures at some point. gotta work hard to play harder.

spam email

so we are posted up in the law library reading and briefing, and started talking about spam email from nigeria, so i was going through my spam email and found this little jewel of an email. haha


My boyfriend's peter is too big for my mouth.

Virgins always whooped at me and even youths did in the free bathroom!
Well, now I giggl at them, because I took Meg, a dik.
for 7 months and now my dick is hugely weightier than world.

cybersex

so, i remember a long time ago when i was a kid i would go to chat rooms and convince bitches to say dirty things to me. we would play some sort of joke on a chick and basically lead up to a big hard long slab of salami. anyway, there is a chat log of some really funny cybersex, that i thought i would post in here for your reading enjoyment.

enjoy


bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
--------------
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

in the youtube mood

another funny video i was shown today by a friend. crank dat lion king. what the fuck is rap coming to?

funny video

apparently, this was a BET public service announcement. i laughed



watch it, especially if you like rap